As you may know, in my old life, I devoured books in their traditional format, and in my current life, I devour them via fancy little headphones. (The actual process: Load up 4-5 audiobooks on CD from the library, import them into iTunes, listen on the
dying iPod. Repeat.) Maybe a year ago, I started rejecting bad books. I'm not all that picky about readers (though Librivox is generally a challenging, hence the library/professional approach) and I'll listen to more mystery novels than I'd ever read on paper, because I'm often listening when doing the laundry. And though there are occasional audio-novels that capture my attention so much that I really have to work to stop the story and get on with my life, these have nothing on the print novels that have made me stay up all night, linger at home before work (later and later!), walk into shrubbery as I read while walking--good old fashioned paper books still somehow better capture my imagination.
So anyway, there I was, listening to
Countdown: An Eve Duncan Forensic Thriller by Iris Johansen. From reading the back, I know there are cops, a mystery involving ancient history, and a bad boy hero. Fine. But really, here's what happens:
Disc one. Oh, Jane's an
orphan who grew up on the streets, taken in by super high-tech cop/forensic scientist couple, and her pseudo-brother, also a former street kid, is shot--in Boston because they're both at Harvard. Right. Note that there is nothing remotely Bostonian about this story.
Disc two. Jane turns out to be the spitting image of a long-dead (Herculanium? Vesuvius?) actress who supposedly had a buncha gold that everyone wants. Jane's been dreaming about/obsessed with her--and the bad boy with Jane--since a drama involving a killer obsessed with the ancient actress.
Disc three. They run off to a freaking Scottish castle. With a guy called McDuff.
Disc four. The bad guys not only are brainwashing former armed forces guys into being suicide bombers, but are planning nuclear attacks on major U.S. cities. A character's dad is beheaded. Of course this is not described in great detail because this is the coziest "thriller" I've heard.
Disc five. The girl and the bad boy still haven't had sex, but if I hear one more time about "flushed with heat" or "a shiver went through her" or "the sexual tension was powerful," I might hurt someone.
Disc six. His shoulders are so broad, she wants to dig her fingernails into them. WTF. I laughed out loud while washing dishes, at least. The dirty plates don't usually provoke such mirth.
Disc seven. Yes, I'm still listening, as very low-level background to the rest of my life. Can't even remember what happens in disc seven, but maybe it's when they have to secretly leave the castle because Homeland Security is going to somehow get permission to surround a foreign castle and interrogate The Good Guys.
Disc eight. Jane and the brainwashed-but-coming-out-of-it-lovable-S
cottish-"boy" (he's 20) separate from the pack to go to Idaho where the evil mastermind dude is camped out. The sub-evil-mastermind is just in it for the gold.
Disc nine. Betrayal, double-crossing, the author starts actually counting down the days... or else they're just going faster and I never noticed before because for a thriller, this thing is paced like a Sarmago novel.
Disc ten. Wow, that's a long denoument, and really boring, too. The love of family and friends is even better than the sexual experience like no other she got with bad boy Trevor.
The thing about audiobooks: It's hard to flip forward to the end and see if you really want to find out if it's worth the trouble to get there. This happens rarely in my reading life, but it does happen when I'm stuck with a book and nothing else to read, or it's a book highly recommended that's not taking for me. (As a kid, I used to read the last page regularly, but never the blurb on the back.) It's also nearly impossible to flip forward a few pages at a time, or run your eyes faster down a boring page (dialog with way too many adverbs). This can mean a bad book is an awful lot worse as an audiobook.
So, which mystery novel on CD will I pick up next? I have three on the shelf, none of which are (over)due yet.
While I wouldn't recommend
Countdown on audio (and sis, I doubt it'd be engrossing on paper either... she never goes back in time in any sort of satisfying way), I would highly recommend the Norwegian Baby Cap pattern:

It knitted up nice & fast and elicited the appropriate amount of "oohs" and "aahs" and demands to know the pattern at the shower we had for Karen at Jen's house on Sunday--and when you're at the home of your LYS owner and surrounded by the shop's all-knowing--not to say cynical--staff, you know you hit on something good.
(Why I have only two blurry photos of the darn hat is basically that I was in a hurry. Let's hope for a picture on baby in a month or so!)
On
Ravelry /
direct link to the patternI will be casting on for another very soon!